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<title>The Weight of a Thousand Mistakes (Real and Imagined) by yun_foxi</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22825162">The Weight of a Thousand Mistakes (Real and Imagined)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yun_foxi/pseuds/yun_foxi'>yun_foxi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Seisen no Keifu | Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War, Fire Emblem: Thracia 776</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Light Angst, Loneliness, Self-Hatred, Unreliable Narrator, am i going overboard with these tags, i have loneliness issues, leif all alone with his thoughts, so naturally i write my fav lord in the same position, vent fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:35:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>301</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22825162</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yun_foxi/pseuds/yun_foxi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Amongst the many men I’ve met in my laughably short life, I’ve concluded that I must be the best and the worst of them.</p><p>---&gt; Leif contemplates his mistakes and his failures alongside his entire life. His own mind deceives him into thinking his sufferings are all his doings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Weight of a Thousand Mistakes (Real and Imagined)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i'm very sorry for the awful teenage angst vent fic but i was genuinely scared to reach out to anyone and say anything. What an awful way to restart my life on AO3.</p><p>I genuinely hope anyone reading this has a good day/week c:</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Amongst the many men I’ve met in my laughably short life, I’ve decided that I must be the best and the worst of them.</p><p>I saw the crimes and the misdoings of the Loptyr cult much too late purely thanks to my own blindness, and then later I realized the mistakes of my father after following his specter for my entire life. I led an army into captivity and then failure. I couldn’t even manage to take up my father’s--no, Njorun’s blood and lance.</p><p>I look up at the orange of the setting sun now and all I can think about are the fires that cost us our comfortable lives, fires that should have murdered me and nobody else. It is well-deserving and yet so ill-fitting to be my first memory, I like to think; instead of Father and Mother, whom I must love very dearly, I can remember a knight’s arms holding me close and the death of the Leonster name. I never stopped being a prince, though, and I can never hold and throw it to the distance though I can’t live up to the title ever.</p><p>The happiness I enjoyed in Fiana was so, <em>so</em> temporary and I don’t deserve to weep over it. I miss Orsin and Eyvel and Mareeta and her dangerous cooking, and I will always cherish the memories of Finn and Nanna finally being able to live somewhere where we did not have to stay together constantly or… well, stay by me. What did I do to merit all of those happy years, I wonder, wrapping my noodle-like arms around my knees and holding myself together like the fraying ball I’ve always been.</p><p><em>Absolutely nothing</em>, my mind supplies. I’m better off alone, but I’m not alone and yet so alone that it hurts.</p>
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